


midnight, car lights

by writeasoph



Category: Jelix - Fandom, PewDiePie - Fandom, jacksepticeye
Genre: Angst, Angst and Feels, GOOD AND BAD ENDING, Jelix - Freeform, M/M, hold me
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-11-02
Updated: 2018-11-02
Packaged: 2019-08-14 11:00:26
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 725
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/16491284
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/writeasoph/pseuds/writeasoph
Summary: There it is, that faith that Jack knows he doesn’t deserve. He should have shoved Felix away a long time ago, but he’d been selfish and this was his price.That faith had to die now.





	midnight, car lights

**Author's Note:**

  * For [Pseudthisyafucks (collettephinz)](https://archiveofourown.org/users/collettephinz/gifts).



> written listening to The 1975 by The 1975 on repeat

The lights are flashing by. Red, then blue, then white. Their breath is fogging up the windscreen with the cold outside almost clawing at them. Jack can feel Felix shivering, and he pulls him closer into his side.

Felix shouldn’t even be here.

The sirens have started now, blaring at them whilst screening the vicinity. They’re being searched for and it’s all Jack’s fault. His eyes scrunch closed with guilt whilst he tightens his grip around Felix’s hips. He kisses his forehead tenderly before taking one of his hands to the side of Felix’s face and looking. He observes and watches and tries to commit this face to memory, the face he’ll never see again. He’s shit at remembering people and he knows it, but he’d easily jump at the chance to forget every other face to remember just one.

Just this one.

Something reminds him that Felix has never seen him this scared before, never seen the fear surge like a wave in his eyes. Jack had been the ice to balance Felix’s warmth and seeing Jack look at him intently with a silent goodbye was definitely a contrast.

“We can do this. It’ll be like always, yeah? Just us.”

There it is, that faith that Jack knows he doesn’t deserve. He should have shoved Felix away a long time ago, but he’d been selfish and this was his price.

That faith had to die now.

“I’m so sorry, Fe.” He chokes, his thumb brushing lightly over his cheek in a comfort to the tears swimming in his eyes.

“For what?”

The sirens seem to be getting closer but Jack can’t tell if that’s just his paranoia talking. He’s got minutes left tops.

He smiles in reply before leaning to kiss Felix long and hard, like he hasn’t been able to in a while. Their separation had been killing him but this one kiss, this contact, feels almost like he’s been given more energy to carry on, like he finally has the motivation to go on. The pressure of Felix’s lips on his reminds him to do what he’s always wanted, to do what’s most important.

Protect him.

He leans away just as a gun taps on the window, making Felix’s hand jump to his gun.

_He doesn’t deserve this._

“Felix,” Jack starts, looking at him one last time. The unspoken words hang in the silence. “Come out this way.” He asks. Felix gives him a questioning look before climbing over the central console clumsily and Jack catches him with a hand as he stumbles out of the vehicle. He squeezes tight as Felix gives him the scared look he hates and adores at the same time before he changes his expression from sympathetic to empty in an instant.

His hand delves into his coat pocket before locking onto the pistol he knows Felix isn’t aware is in his pocket. Immediately, his arm is wrapped around Felix and the pistol is aimed at his head. He feels Felix freeze as much as he can in the cold air, his body shaking in the wind and Jack tries not to think about whether Felix knows this is an act or not.

“Don’t move or he’s dead!” Jack shouts, concentrating on making his voice low without cracking. He’s faced with three armed officers all aiming at him shouting back with demands and threats, none of which he cares about. He’s done it now, Felix is no longer associated with him. He’s just a victim.

“Jack, don’t.” Felix whispers to him, and Jack considers knocking him out with the butt of his gun to make sure this all goes smoothly. He doesn’t want to hurt him, he just wants him to be safe.

One of the officers takes a step forward and Jack jostles Felix in his grip for show, the gun making it’s way closer to Felix’s skull as if it’d make a difference.

Jack hears the creeping officer approaching from behind, but makes no move to show it. A hit from the back of the head has less risk for Felix than a gunshot.

His grip on Felix relaxes slightly, and his eyes close as he relishes his last moment of freedom with Felix in his arms: the man who made him who he is and the man who made him realise who he was.


End file.
